Diane Jones, 17
Self Portrait, School Work, 1979
Oil on Canvasette
14” x 20” (40.64 cm x 50.8 cm)

The critique and grade went well for this aspiring high school senior, now boarding the idling Greyhound bus. The paper ticket trading in the backyard woods for the cacophony of the Big Apple. “Excellent job.” Thanks, I work until my brain and heart bleeds. “I really enjoyed watching you paint only when you felt emotionally in the mood.” Ah, yes, the birth year of my migraines, mood swings, and the blues. “I think your wide brush strokes + mixing the paint right on the canvas is the strongest plus in your work. You also used a myriad of colors, yet the end result isn’t garish.” Masterfully, I hide the wet mixed colors, turned a putrid gray, deep within. That’s where the garishness resides. “A+” Wouldn’t expect anything less. F.I.T., here I come!

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Will I ever be enough?

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After decades of correction,

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I am.